just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
