well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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