last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize