All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
