I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
