yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
