We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
