I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
NoShamevember. You game?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
