So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I intend to get homeless drunk
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
