Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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