HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize