i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
