The maid of honor just puked.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
