fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize