dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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