Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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