so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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