I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
