is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
