His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
