Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
