yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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