we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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