How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
