thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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