i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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