dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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