you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Pooping to opera.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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