she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
