Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize