i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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