Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This is the high leading the old right now
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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