I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
