chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize