there was a trapeze. enough said
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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