I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
