1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You smell like stripper and shame
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
