I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
