omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
