8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
