Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
