You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's rum buckets o'clock
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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