Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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