I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
