real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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