Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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