You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
