My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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