im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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