you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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