yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
