hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
