I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
