I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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