For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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