There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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