My brain says no but my pants say off.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
