Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
