i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just invented taco cereal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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