This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
