we're blogging at a bar
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
We named our party play list daddy issues
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
