i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
