he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
