i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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