I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Maybe he injected his testicle?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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