Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
