none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
