we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
