No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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